Mongoloids

All things considered C9's gig at BIG's was pretty cool. Nick had his buddy's metal band open up so we could get a bigger crowd. When I say metal I mean fucking METAL. Judas Priest. Motorhead. Old Slayer. Iron Maiden. That pretty much sums up their style. They were scheduled to go on at 9:00PM. It took them two days to setup up their shit. Really. It was a fuckin' long time. They opened up with "Ace of Spades" which I thought was pretty badass.



During the band's set a couple of drunk pieces of shit started moshing around the front of the stage. This would of been cool if "A" BIG's wasn't the size of your average walk-in closet and "B" if the drunk's weren't knocking over tables and spilling beer all over the place. Nick and I started getting nervous only because the metal dudes (who are doing nothing to calm the mongoloids) are using C9's (actually Kory's, hahaha what's his is ours) P.A. and they are dangerously close to covering it with Bug Light.



As the two drunks are getting rowdier by the song and starting to spill beer on our friends and family I start getting pissed. Nick and I begin to shove the trash away whenever it gets close to us. This pretty much has the same effect it has at any other concert. It encourages the mosher to run in to you even harder.



So, the big (relatively, compared to his dwarf buddy) mongoloid who is probably a painter by day, tweaker all the time, and a general piece of shit starts charging in to me. I humor him and push him back into his imaginary "mosh pit". This happens a couple of times and I decide that there's been enough. The next time Joe Worktruck comes at me, I'm laying him out. Sixty seconds later Joe Fontana rushes me for the last time. I sidestep him and use his own force and my force to toss him into a table and a couple of chairs. I'm not exaggerating, this guy ate it. Hard. So hard I might of (and probably did) have a shit-eating grin on my face. Now, Jim Worktruck and Joe Minitruck come after me. Nick pulls some awesome restraining moves on one of them as Kory runs into the bar and pounces of some dude Ninja-Quick-Style.



What am I doing during all of this? Well, guess what? There's a bouncer at the bar. Who fucking knew? The bouncer grabs me by the collar and starts yelling as he's pushing me out of the bar. Where's was the bouncer when the mongoloids where repeatedly knocking over tables and spilling beer on Nick's mom? Oh, I get it. You don't do your job and when someone does it for you, you throw said person out of the bar. People were yelling at the bouncer, the ugly, face-pierced, tattooed fuck that he is, "hey, that's not the guy", or "he's in the band", etc., as he was eighty-sixing me. Whatever.



Two ciggarettes later I walked into the bar and I was the hero. You think I'm stroking my ego? No way. I had people coming up to me the whole night saying things like, "someone had to do it" or my favorite, "nice toss". Jordan, who was outside when I tossed Joe Worktruck, said the guy hit the wall so hard he could here the windows shake.



After everyone calmed down I gave the metal band the signal that it was time for them to wind down the set. TWO WEEKS LATER THEY FINISH AND GET THEIR SHIT OF THE STAGE. Oh, I forgot one more thing... a couple of Nick's friends helped back us up during the scuffle and they got kicked out. They took the 10 people and the potential $500 the bar would have made with them. ATTENTION: BIG's. Hire a real bouncer. Tell the current one to go back to drywalling or whatever his fucking day job is.



Long story even longer, we played a pretty good show. Our friends were truly awesome that night. They were loud and everyone seem to generally have a good time. With the exception of the handicapped bouncer, BIG's is a great place to play and Gina is the coolest bartender. We received free drinks all night long and got paid at the end of it all. Hopefully, we will be invited to play there again.